June 24th, 2008, I hosted a Lord of the Rings Marathon at my house. It was really cool! We watched all three of them. We started at 1:00pm and went until 2-2:30ish. It was really cool. There was alot of swimming, hanging out, eating, talking, relaxing, and movie watching with all of my favourite people. Casper was there too, and man that night was awesome.
Once the third movie came on, Casper had already snuck my birthday present in my room. So I went in during the movie to open it. It was really cool. As childish as it sounds, she and her amazing cousin, let's call her Hertzmyster, got me a Build-a-Bear with an acoustic guitar, Converse chucks, and sunglasses. I don't even care if it's childish, I think it's freakin' sweet. Anyways, so at one point she went to get up to go outside or something with her friend, SG. So as she walked by I kind of pulled her into my room and said thanks and all that. Then we went outside and layed on my road and looked at the stars. Just the two of us. It was awesome. We had some nice discussions about liking each other, school, future, etc. Such a valuable time with her.
Then we went back in and watched the movie for the next few hours. We were laying on the floor together. At one point we got pretty close. I was gently stroking her hands and holding them and all that. So many times we just got to lay there and look into each others eyes. I got to tell her how beautiful she is and she told me how much she likes me, how cute I am, and how I'm a keeper. We talked a bit about possibly dating and all that. It was really nice. I took her hand and brought her fingers to my lips and gently kissed them. These conversations roughly followed:
#1
Casper- "You really like kissing my fingers, don't you?"
Tyler- "Mmm. When do I get to kiss you?"
Casper- "I dunno. I've never kissed a boy before."
Tyler- "It's not hard, but it's very special. The only thing you have to really think about is that you're going to have to say for the rest of your life that I was your first kiss."
Casper- "Yeah, true. That's not a bad thing. I'm pretty sure you'll be my first kiss. Does that make you feel special?"
Tyler- "Extremely."
Casper- "Good, because you are special."
#2 (Ps. These wonderful intimate times are often spread apart by monthly intervals)
Casper- "You know this probably won't happen again for a long time."
Tyler- "(Sadly) Yea, I know. It sucks. But maybe it's better in small doses."
Casper- "Yeah, maybe. Makes it more special. Do you think it's wierd that we have siblings in the room?"
Tyler- "A little bit. I think they're old enough to get it. Lol."
For those on the edge of your seat, no we did not brush lips. I'm willing to be as patient as I have to be. But Casper, (8) I just can't wait to call you mine! (8). She's amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GodBless
TSharr
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Ouch
Sunday June 15th, 2008. What a night. Party at the Gray's house after Sr. Youth. It was pretty sweet. Some nice chilling' out, swimming, chatting, all that good stuff. Casper was there and we were joking around and talking and stuff and it was a really fun time. Suddenly, out of nowhere, God (I'm pretty sure it was God) smacked me in the face with some of my biggest faults all at once. It was literally breathtaking in the worst way possible. This kid, TV let's call him, started playing the piano, and he's amazing because he has been playing forever. Everyone is like, "TV, you're so amazing!" Normally this, in all truthfulness, would not bother me. I don't play piano much, so I didn't really care. Then he grabbed a guitar and started playing. Now (please, as cocky as this sounds, try to understand why I'm saying this), he's openly admitted to not being as skilled as me on guitar, and seriously, he isn't. But then he started playing this song called "Drifting" by Andy McKee that he can play a couple lines from, but it sounds really cool. So everyone was crowding around and they're all like, "OH, you're soo good! That's amazing!", and all that. That's when I started flipping (on the inside that is. I never, ever let that stuff show on the outside.) Thank God my mom called and told us it was getting late and it was time to come home. I wanted to scream!
So my bro and I finally left, but then Casper and my buddy CJ needed rides, so we took them. I'm totally cool with that because Casper's amazing, and CJ is a favourite. So we're driving home and they're all talking, and at one point, Casper said something like, "Haha, I never knew DDS (my brother) was soo funny." I knew she wasn't like hitting on him or anything, but you know how it is when you like a girl (like crazy in this case) and they talk like that about another guy. And it's even worse when it's your brother who is her age, he drives, and I know he used to like her. So at this point I'm like dying. Then they started talking about the Casino and everything, and Casper says to my brother, "DDS, we should go to the Casino buffet when we're 19. I hear it's really nice." Ohh, dear God, kill me! Seriously, I think I would've rather jumped out of the moving car than stay for the rest of that drive. So that night sucked. Because of it, I could barely sleep all night, I was dead tired the next day at school, my head hurt all day long.
Then to make it even worse, during lunch at school, this really good guitar player at our school got to set up his amp during lunch in the atrium and just shred, and it was a featured event? What the heck is that? And everyone gathered around and they're like, "Man, he's good, eh?" He is better than me, but still. How come I never get asked to do these things? Even when they have special live music for events, no one ever asks us. I don't know, it was just really frustrating.
As a result, unless it's for youth, church, or a gig, I'm not gonna play guitar in front of people anymore. I've obviously got some pride and jealousy issues to deal with, so maybe I'll just stay in my room all the time, practice guitar until I get unbelievable, and then go off to music school, forget about everything here, and make a career off being an amazing guitar player/teacher. Sounds good to me.
GodBless
TSharr
So my bro and I finally left, but then Casper and my buddy CJ needed rides, so we took them. I'm totally cool with that because Casper's amazing, and CJ is a favourite. So we're driving home and they're all talking, and at one point, Casper said something like, "Haha, I never knew DDS (my brother) was soo funny." I knew she wasn't like hitting on him or anything, but you know how it is when you like a girl (like crazy in this case) and they talk like that about another guy. And it's even worse when it's your brother who is her age, he drives, and I know he used to like her. So at this point I'm like dying. Then they started talking about the Casino and everything, and Casper says to my brother, "DDS, we should go to the Casino buffet when we're 19. I hear it's really nice." Ohh, dear God, kill me! Seriously, I think I would've rather jumped out of the moving car than stay for the rest of that drive. So that night sucked. Because of it, I could barely sleep all night, I was dead tired the next day at school, my head hurt all day long.
Then to make it even worse, during lunch at school, this really good guitar player at our school got to set up his amp during lunch in the atrium and just shred, and it was a featured event? What the heck is that? And everyone gathered around and they're like, "Man, he's good, eh?" He is better than me, but still. How come I never get asked to do these things? Even when they have special live music for events, no one ever asks us. I don't know, it was just really frustrating.
As a result, unless it's for youth, church, or a gig, I'm not gonna play guitar in front of people anymore. I've obviously got some pride and jealousy issues to deal with, so maybe I'll just stay in my room all the time, practice guitar until I get unbelievable, and then go off to music school, forget about everything here, and make a career off being an amazing guitar player/teacher. Sounds good to me.
GodBless
TSharr
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Only a Dream
How can any young man order one's thoughts after such radical happenings?
For not one day's time ago, I was engulfed in her presence and mine too long enduring strife cured had been.
***
After slowly drifting into the nocturnal bliss brought by the rising of the pale, glass moon
She came to me.
Like an angel she is.
As I followed my weekly chore's bidding, I spoke to her most favoured, most beloved relative.
Her beautiful voice was crooning in the background as we spoke.
I confided in her trusted confidant about the sheer angelic beauty of her song.
Yet, her cousin pressed certain similar matters of which I hath only dreamed.
We concluded our conversation and returned to the morning sun's side of the hall.
There I sat with my various fellows discussing various trials and rewards of life.
As I listened to them speak, this earthly angel of which I speak came to my side.
My heart kicked with excitement, as was the usual working of the ecstasy caused by her presence.
There, I leaned towards her to compliment her on the majesty of her voice,
Then it happened.
Before one word would release itself from my lips, she leaned in and oh so gently brushed her lips against mine.
It was a dream within a dream!
It was as if when she kissed me, she stole my breath away.
She stole my heart away.
I was empty and full at the same time.
Oh, how my heart absolutely screamed for more.
As she gracefully went to stand back up, I grasped her arm, my fingers clinging to her fair skin.
Silently, I begged for more, from the deepest pit of my heart, I yearned for more.
And out of her beautiful, wonderful, graceful heart, she returned her lips to mine, once again.
Gently and warmly they pressed to mine.
In this moment, no one around mattered.
It was but her and I,
Sharing this gift God had so cleverly created.
...
Then I awoke.
***
**
*
This is seriously a dream I had as I slept last night. One from which I was devastated to wake.
Man, if this never works out, someone has really been messing with my head.
God Bless
TSharr
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